"When you are in it up to your ears, keep your mouth shut."
A generation which ignores history hes no past -- and no future.
A lie in time saves nine.
A reverence for life does not require one to respect nature's obvious mistakes.
Big Brother is watching.
Caution:  Breathing may be hazardous to your health.
Chicken Little was right.
He who has a shady past knows that nice guys finish last.
It is easier to get forgiveness than permission.
Just because you're paranoid doesn't mean the world ISN'T out to get you.
Just because you're paranoid doesn't mean they're not really after you.
Love is sentimental measles.
Misfortune:  The kind of fortune that never misses.
Mistakes are oft the stepping stones to failure.
Money is truthful.  If a man speaks of his honor, make him pay cash.
Never appeal to a man's "better nature". He may not have one.
Never say you know a man until you have divided an inheritance with him.
Nice guys get sick.
Remember, even if you win the rat race - you're still a rat.
Reputation:  what others are not thinking about you.
Stop searching forever.  Happiness is unattainable.
The universe is laughing behind your back.
The world is an 8000 mile in diameter spherical pile of dirt.
Expecting life to treat you fairly because you are a good person is like expecting a bull not to charge you because you are a vegetarian. -anon
"Some mornings it's just not worth chewing through the leather straps" -anon
I am learning that criticism is not nearly as effective as sabotage.  -Anon
"Great spirits have often encountered violent opposition from weak minds." -Albert Einstein
"Suburbia is where the developer bulldozes out the trees and then names the streets after them." -Bill Vaughn
Freedom of the press is guaranteed to those who own one.  -A. J. Liebling
Technological progress is like an ax in the hands of a pathological criminal. -Einstein
Democracy consists of choosing your dictators, after they've told you what you want to hear. -Alan Coren
Thanks to the interstate highway system, it is now possible to travel coast to coast without seeing anything.  -Charles Kuralt
The world is full of apathy, but so what?
An optimist is simply a pessimist with no experience.
The light at the end of the tunnel has been turned off due to budget cuts.
"There is no path to true happiness, the best you can expect  to do is minimize the pain." -Bill Knoche
"I'm not black, but there's a whole lots of times I wish I could say I'm not white." -Frank Zappa
When I give food to the poor, they call me a saint.  When I ask why the poor have no food, they call me a communist. -Dora Camara
"The world is made for people who aren't cursed with self-awareness." -Movie: Bull Durham
If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again, it was probably worth it.
If you can't be a good example, then you'll just have to be a horrible warning.  -Catherine Aird
"People demand freedom of speech to make up for the freedom of thought which they avoid." -Soren Aabye Kierkegaard (1813-1855) 
"Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former." -Albert Einstein (1879-1955) 
"A lie gets halfway around the world before the truth has a chance to get its pants on." -Sir Winston Churchill (1874-1965) 
"The power of accurate observation is frequently called cynicism by those who don't have it." -George Bernard Shaw (1856-1950)
"Human history becomes more and more a race between education and catastrophe." -H. G. Wells (1866-1946)
"I'm all in favor of keeping dangerous weapons out of the hands of fools. Let's start with typewriters." -Frank Lloyd Wright (1868-1959)
"Maybe this world is another planet's Hell." -Aldous Huxley (1894-1963)
"I have come to believe that the whole world is an enigma, a harmless enigma that is made terrible by our own mad attempt to interpret it as though it had an underlying truth." -Umberto Eco
"Many a man's reputation would not know his character if they met on the street." -Elbert Hubbard (1856-1915)
"There is more stupidity than hydrogen in the universe, and it has a longer shelf life." -Frank Zappa
"If you gaze long into an abyss, the abyss will gaze back into you." -Friedrich Nietzsche (1844-1900)
"The instinct of nearly all societies is to lock up anybody who is truly free. First, society begins by trying to beat you up. If this fails, they try to poison you. If this fails too, they finish by loading honors on your head." -Jean Cocteau (1889-1963)
"While we are postponing, life speeds by." -Seneca (3BC - 65AD)
"Most people would sooner die than think; in fact, they do so." -Bertrand Russell (1872-1970) 
"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has exceeded our humanity." -Albert Einstein (1879-1955) 
"Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one." -Albert Einstein (1879-1955) 
"One of the symptoms of an approaching nervous breakdown is the belief that one's work is terribly important." -Bertrand Russell (1872-1970) 
"What do you take me for, an idiot?" -General Charles de Gaulle (1890-1970), when a journalist asked him if he was happy
"In the end, everything is a gag." -Charlie Chaplin (1889-1977) 
"The graveyards are full of indispensable men." -Charles de Gaulle (1890-1970) 
"Friends may come and go, but enemies accumulate." -Thomas Jones 
"You can get more with a kind word and a gun than you can with a kind word alone." -Al Capone (1899-1947) 
"The cynics are right nine times out of ten." -Henry Louis Mencken (1880-1956) 
"Men and nations behave wisely once they have exhausted all the other alternatives." -Abba Eban (1915-2002) 
"Always do right- this will gratify some and astonish the rest." -Mark Twain (1835-1910) 
"I think it would be a good idea." -Mahatma Gandhi (1869-1948), when asked what he thought of Western civilization 
Definition of democracy: Two wolves and a sheep voting on what's for dinner.
"The Washington mentality works on two tracks: 'Here's what we're going to do; here's what we're going to sell them.'" -Bill Maher
Nothing works, and nobody cares.
"The true axis of evil in America is the genius of our marketing combined with the stupidity of our people." -Bill Maher
Few people are capable of expressing with equanimity opinions which differ from the prejudices of their social environment. Most people are even incapable of forming such opinions.  -Albert Einstein
There is not one shred of evidence to support the notion that life is serious.
For every action, there is an equal and opposite government program.
The U.S. constitution isn't perfect, but it's better than what we have now.
Shopping is not creating; You are not defined by what you own.
Light is faster than sound. That is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
"Imagine no possessions," said the millionaire from his luxury Manhattan apartment.
Give a man a fish and he'll eat for a day. Teach him to fish and he'll wipe out the species.
"Only a nation of unenlightened half-wits could have taken this beautiful land and turned it into what it is today: A shopping mall.  'America the beautiful:' One big transcontinental commercial cesspool." -George Carlin
"Consumption: It's the new national pastime.  The only true lasting American value that's left.  Buying things.  People spending money they don't have on things they don't need."  -George Carlin
"Do you think it will always be like this, Michael?  Little powers at the mercy of bigger powers, politics before morality, expediency before justice?"  "Seems to work for everybody- Except you.  Maybe that's why I like you."  -Jeffrey Sinclair, Michael Garibaldi, Babylon 5